HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS – DAYS 4 & 5

Well, I finally went shopping yesterday! Got myself showered, dressed and to the blasted mall by 10:30 a.m. Got the gifts for the newlyweds – or at least most of them – purchased. Got a few things for the hubby and came on home to a blessed yuletide nap.

When the hubby got home and after we’d seen the son for a bit (they had gotten in and were out visiting friends); we went out and hit the stores to finish up for them and for our daughter. I also got the gifts for my family’s gift exchanged done and I am considering myself almost finished – just have some final stuff for the hubby. I hope to be finished by Monday evening – LATEST!

We came home from shopping, visited with our daughter and heard from the son and daughter-in-law that they’d be late. We set up the air mattress in the family room for them and went to bed.
This morning I got up early and the hubby and I chatted a bit while the kids all slept. He reluctantly went to work and I was home with the troops. They all got up around 8:30 –ish. The daughter headed out to celebrate her boyfriend’s 21st birthday but it was adorable to hear her tell her brother “I have missed you big bro!”. Almost made me cry!

I then made hot cocoa (with marshmallows) and cinnamon rolls (Pillsbury) for the 2 remaining “kids”. They started making plans around 11 to head out and visit, go to movie, party and such and finally left around 1 o’clock. Of course this was after the son ran around the house getting the dog all worked up and knocking things ass over teakettle. So, after they left I did the dishes, cleaned the boy/hound mess and took another delightful yuletide nap.

They will no doubt be out this evening with the party for the 21 year old. I have taken a shower and will spend the evening drinking hot cocoa, listening to holiday music and wrapping gifts.
It’s been a terrific holiday so far!

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS – DAY 3

Ok, so yesterday – although not busy – I didn’t get a chance to post. I am going to try and get one in now before I begin my busy day. First off, the baking of the day before and the amount of time I spent on my feet took it’s toll on my 51 year old body! Boy Howdy was my back sore and it gave me a headache. I took some ibuprofen, did a quick housecleaning “blitz” before the daughter got home and then read and took a nap.

The daughter got home and was DELIGHTED to see the assortment of cookies and immediately commenced to eat them. She was thrilled to see the Christmas decorations all up, hear the holiday playlist on the iPod and feel festively “home for the holidays”. She and I sat and talked for a long time until the hubby got home and we had a dinner of leftovers and cookies! We lit the candles and talked and she was feeling very festive and it was cute – like old times.

Today the son and daughter in law get here. They will be down from Vegas. I guess they will be staying with us. I know they will have a lot of obligations as well so we have no idea how much or how often we’ll see them but we will sure love having them here.

I am just having a terrific time doing the “holiday thing” and seeing my family appreciative with my efforts.

MEDICARE FOR ALL DAMMIT!!!

ON THE HEALTHCARE BILL - I have to agree with Former Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean says "This is an insurance company's dream. This the Washington scramble, and it's a shame." "You will be forced to buy insurance. If you don't, you'll pay a fine," said Dean, a physician. "It's an insurance company bailout." Former DNC Chairman Gov. Dean said "the bill has some good provisions, but there has to be a line beyond which you think the bill is bad for the country." Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y protested the absence of any government-run insurance option in the Senate bill. "We can't let the perfect be enemy of the good," Weiner said," "but we are reaching a tipping point. We should move away from some of the things the Senate has done and move back to where the House is. You need to contain cost. You do that with a public option."

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS – DAY 2

I am one AWESOME domestic goddess.

It was another totally festive and fun day for me. It harkened me back to days long ago. I started the day off with the mother of all shopping trips to the grocery store. It was fun to load up on baking supplies and decide just what kind of cookies to make. Then there was buying enough food for 5 adults instead of just 2. I hadn’t bought that much food in I can’t remember when – it was fun!

I came home, put the groceries away and immediately started to bake cookies. I have made:

 3 dozen peanut butter
 3 dozen chocolate chip
 1 dozen sugar cookies (to be frosted tomorrow)
 1 batch of graham, coconut, chocolate, walnut and condensed milk bars (they are so easy!)

There is something so spiritual about baking cookies. The lack of thought while you mix the ingredients, while you mold them onto the cookie sheet, waiting and being present – it’s almost a divine act!

(To be totally honest, I also bought a couple boxes of Archway cookies – some small gingerbread men and some wedding cakes. I wasn’t up for baking those items this time around. )

So, here I am 2 days into it and the baking is all done! To add to the baking I have a pot of minestrone soup in the Crockpot and some French bread to eat with it.


Man, I have this housewife thing down!!!!

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS – DAY 1

For the most part, I am feeling very relaxed. It’s something I haven’t felt in a long, long time. It’s a feeling of peace and privilege. Waking up this morning knowing that I wouldn’t have to go to the dysfunctional job was pure bliss. I felt pangs of guilt watching the hubby head off to work but that was short-lived. I felt so suburban and domestic as I stood in my flannel pajamas waving good-bye to him as he backed out of the driveway. I went back in for a luxurious 2nd cup of coffee.

After I had checked my email, surfed a little on the internet and done the dishes anxiety started to set in. Well, not really anxieties...more like feelings of alternating panic and joy.

♫ o-o-feelings of panic and joy, panic and joy, o-o-feelings of panic and joy ♪

I looked around and saw all the beautiful decorations that I had put up over the weekend after cleaning the hell out of the house on Friday. It looked lovely but I questioned why I didn’t leave anything to do today. We’d set up the Christmas tree and it’s beautiful. Our family decorations came out with nostalgia and remembrances of holidays past.

It had been a very healing weekend for me. We went to church on Sunday and they had fantastic music and a great message. The way the hubby and I worked together to deck the halls was in itself a healing. We connected in ways we hadn’t in a long time. However, there was still the nagging pangs of guilt going on in the back of my mind.

♪o-o-feelings of panic and joy, panic and joy, o-o-feelings of panic and joy ♫

I was able to settle down by doing some meditation and reading of the trashy holiday romance novel (prescribed by the marriage counselor). I started to relax again and realize that this was what my body needed – time to rest, refuel and heal the deep wounds.

I was able talk to the daughter at that point, via text and then she called when I told her what had transpired. She set me at ease (as she usually does) and helped me remember that this was going to be good for me and it’s all for the best. She’s excited to come home Wednesday and to spend time when she’s not working with me. She’s also excited to see her brother and his wife who will be down this Thursday. It was a conversation that quelled my tumultuous soul.

I then went and took a nap which was delicious. I woke up and showered and will contemplate going shopping tomorrow. I will need both groceries AND gifts so I might make a day of it. Tonight is Monday Night Football and the Cardinals play so I will need to run to the store and get something “footballish” to eat during that.

I am decompressing more and more all the time. This is going to be a great holiday and it’s going to be great to be home.

A HOLIDAY HOUSEWIFE

I AM UNEMPLOYED! – But really, really I am ok with it……….

I was in such a good mood. I was thoroughly enjoying my last day at my hellish state job. I had taken all the remaining sick time I had on the records, went to my doctor for refills on my prescriptions and a check up on the state insurance. I went in to an uneventful last day – worked only ½ the day. They had the obligatory cake and card for my departure and the normal niceties were said. I had an “exit interview” with bossman where I told him that he needed to reign in the sarcasm, the cruelty, the lack of communication and generally work hard at making it a less hostile workplace. I didn’t tell him exactly what I thought of him and how he had been the primary instigator of those work elements even though I really wanted to. A wise man once told me never to burn any bridges as you never know when you might need a reference. I remembered that and even though I really don’t put much credence into his reference or what he thinks; I remembered that if necessary someone trying to hire me might care what my last boss thought of me. I held my tongue and refrained from using the double flip-off. I said goodbye to all I worked with being as sincere as possible, notified the one agency I will miss via email and left with very little fanfare. I felt great.

I came home and realized that my tranquility would be short-lived. Mid-morning a voice mail had been left from the school district informing me that they were forced to retract the offer they had made to me. I am still not really sure what was said– it was like an out of body experience. I do remember hearing something like “blah, blah, blah….budgetary factors…blah, blah, blah…..Governing Board……blah, blah, blah”. I then began to panic and get a little worked up. I was so wigged I deleted the voice mail, sat on the floor and cried like a baby. Like I said – an out of body experience. It took me to a dark depressed place I hadn’t seen in a while.
I started texting the husband letting him know what was going on, asking if I should beg for my hellish job back and just WTF were we going to do. He told me do NOT ask for my old job back and to settle down - we’d discuss it when he got home. I was in a full-blown panic at this time so I took a pill and lay down to take a nap only to awaken at 9 pm! The husband said he tried to wake me at 7 but I was out stone cold. I think it was the angst of it all had me. I hit the proverbial brick wall and chose my favorite coping mechanism – SLEEP!

When I got up the husband and I had time to talk and it really put me at ease and kept me from totally panicking. He assured me that he would ALWAYS take care of me. He acknowledged that last year when he was unemployed for 3 months I had stepped up and taken care of him. He also admitted that we did just fine. We tightened our belts and really got a lot closer in the process. We worked harder at finding the free and cheap activities and we actually communicated a lot better when we were doing those things. He admitted that he’s scared but he was almost at the point of telling me to quit anyway because it was killing him to see me go into hysterics before I left for work. He was getting depressed watching that daily and hearing of the things that went on every evening.

I then told him that I really – REALLY – knew that I could not go back to that place now without facing retribution like the world had never seen and he agreed. We were in total agreement that is out of the question and now I would have the time I needed to find a position that would be good for me. To spend all my time going forward in that regard without the distraction of that chaos factory. To be able to actually take the time I need to not ensure that I not jump into a position based on some unexplained urgent need and finding myself stuck somewhere I loathed. We both acknowledged that it has not been good for my mental hygiene. (Go figure eh?!)

We both thought back to the teachings we are learning in our meditations at Unity and our attempts to live the concepts of the Law of Attraction. We admitted that there was a reason this happened. I wouldn’t have left the hellish job had it not been for this carrot dangled in front of me. We had to admit that perhaps there was a reason that this carrot was taken away. Somehow, someway we have to believe that there is some reason for this. Some grand idea to give me some time to stay home, take my time and actually look for a job that I would be happy in and in the meantime heal from the drama of the last 2½ years. Get myself in a better space both personally AND professionally. We will be ok financially for a while and we both believe that there is something better out there. Right now – which is all we ever really know – everything is as it should be.

We went to bed and I slept until his alarm went off. I awoke with a Cheshire cat grin knowing that I would not have to go in to work. It was a feeling I hadn’t had in a long time and it felt really good. I was able to lounge in my flannel jammies and drink coffee with the husband before he left for work. Quite suburban. The husband then commented how nice it would be to have me home for the holidays and it would be good for me – a time to heal. I then realized that he was right. I felt a peace and comfort that I hadn’t felt in many, many years. It felt right. I went to get dressed and looked over to see the vision board I had made a couple of months ago. Right there under my name – Retire 2010.

Somehow this was manifested by me!

I get the luxury of the holidays off and that in itself in going to be the best gift I could get! The daughter will be home from college next week and the weekend of the 17th through the 20th the son and bride will be home for a visit as they can’t get home for the holidays. I will be able to clean – CLEAN! – my house and put some beautiful decorations about. I can take some time to shop frugally and to beautifully wrap the gifts with love as I used to. I can take time to cook and to eat and to exercise and to get myself happy. It is going to be a cup of holiday cheer for my heart to stay home and be a “housewife”.

I am looking forward to it even more than I was looking forward to starting the new “old” job. I am at peace. THIS is the decision that was meant to be made. THIS is what I am supposed to being doing right NOW.

Happy Halloween 2009

We have certainly scaled back this year as nempty nesters.....got a frozen pizza going and a bucket o'candy for the yung-uns. No big whoop. Funny how the neighbor changes is the 15 few years that we've been here. There are more little ones. The cycle of a 'hood. We are chillaxin'

MY SON'S CARTOON

More to come at http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcognitivenoodles.com%2F&h=33ca94f3ec4edaaae4038a3f6a519272

Nobel Peace Prize Friday

I cannot say how proud I am that Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize today in a stunning decision designed to encourage his initiatives to reduce nuclear arms, ease tensions with the Muslim world and stress diplomacy and cooperation rather than unilateralism. I can’t think of a better or more iconic person to bestow the honor upon. His open attitudes towards people of other cultures and faiths are truly refreshing after 8 long years of cowboy isolationism. This ability comes from his past record as a community organizer who is skilled in reaching people on a personal level; from relating to them as human beings and reflections of ourselves. I am very, very proud.


The Red Sox made me sad last night. Really. Now don’t get me wrong – I have no real problem with the Angels. They have a fantastic manager in Sosa and I do have a weakness for singing cowboys. However, seeing my beloved BoSox get shut out just hurt my feelings. I had to watch the Angels topple Red Sox John Lackey pitch into the eighth inning and Torii Hunter hit a three-run homer off the rock pile in center field, leading the Los Angeles Angels to a 5-0 victory over the Boston Red Sox in their playoff opener Thursday night. Pitiful sad.

Then there is this story that really raises my hackles. Our good friends Saudi Arabia has led a quiet campaign demanding that oil-producing nations get special financial assistance if a new climate pact calls for substantial reductions in the use of fossil fuels. Unreal.

OLBERMANN ON HEALTH CARE - AWESOME

Obama nailed it - again

Last night's speech was superb.  I will go so far as to say it was historic.  He stated in simple terms what the bill will accomplish, how it will be done and what were right out LIES.  He invoked the spirit of Sen. Ted Kennedy to remind us that this speaks to our character as Americans.  Historic.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre